184XODT110242 (6/26 - 6/28) Effective Communication for Leaders [p. 1]

Talk less, listen more.

Words are not the message, context is. 

Respecting ideas > liking people, being yes man
You can agree with a person and disagree with an idea

It is easier to provide the reason before a mistake, than an excuse afterwards.

Effective communication: mutual understanding of ideas with no negative impacts; understanding why a result happened and how it's best for both parties.

Questions beginning with 'why' make people defensive; use questions with 'what' and 'how'

- Reasons
	Communication, not manipulation.
	Reasons someone does not meet your expectations:
	(First evaluate these against yourself)
		Does not know (lack of communication)
			Provide information, in way they are able to receive
		Does not know how (lack of coaching)
			Provide coaching, with proper learning style
		Does not have the capacity (lack of availability)
			Assess fairly, do not trust first impressions
		Does not have the desire (lack of attitude)
			Provide attitude, "You know how and are capable..."

- Drivers
	Motivations, shift over time. 
	At least two of people motivate someone at a given time.
	Influence communication and leadership.
	
	Time - spent doing something
	Money - saving, making more
	People - family, friends
	Opportunity - power, experience, faith

	Attempt to identify during conversation.
	Understanding values helps to negotiate with respect.

	Ask, "Would you prefer x,y,z". Give options.

- Tools
	5 point scale more revealing than 10 point in surveys.

	Encourage contribution, conveys appreciation, encourages alignment.

	Underscore responsibility, builds responsibility and accountability.

- Approaching words - steering communication buffers
	Remove "common sense" - slightly offensive.
	Remove "always"
	Remove "never"
	Remove "but" - negates whatever is previous
	Remove "it is what it is" - Use, "it is what we make of it"
	Remove "be the bigger person"
	Remove past language and describing history.

	Use, "Does that make sense?"

	[CARBS] + Driver
	Considering
	Appreciating
	Respecting
	Because
	Since
	... you have a full plate, would it be best that
	... you always stay late, can we both agree that
	vs. ... you need to do this

	[WISER] - meetings
	What has gone well?
	What has improved?
	State goal and gap from it
	Expectations of self and others
	Reality and resource check

	[HOST] - approaching conflict
	Hear it (ask to repeat, mirror confirmation)
	Open to ideas
	Share story (Relatable experience)
	Tell view (And reason why)
	
	[EASE] - approaching conflict
	Eager to resolve
	Assess fairly
	State clearly
	Examples are within

	[COACH] - approaching violations
	Connect with rapport (Ask permission, is this a good time)
	Offer reason (With compliments)
	Acknowledge your experience (I've been guilty of...I do anything wrong?)
	Clarify expectations, clarifying questions (Give them chance for input)
		Let them tell you what is missing
	Have discussion to plan

	Can I do anything better?
	Do we agree?
	Can we meet again with plans to...?
	You're better than the reputation you have right now.
	
	Name, 
	What you do well is...
	You may want to consider... + {reason of value to them}
	(optional pause) (they may respond poorly)
	Thanks for asking, here is why.
	That is something I would really appreciate.
	(change topic) What are you working on?

	

- Johari Window

	1 - Known to self
	2 - Known to others, not self
	3 - Known to self, not disclosing to other
	4 - Potential, all unknown

	Ex. 1 - First impressions
       ._________________.
       |	|   2    |
       |   1    |________|
       |________|        |
       |	|	 |
       |   3    |   4    |
       |	|	 |
       .-----------------.

       ._________________.
       |	|   2    |
       |   1    |        |
       |        |________|
       |	|	 |
       |________|   4    |
       |   3    |	 |
       .-----------------.


	assumption <----communication----> expectation